Wolfwood's Last Cigarette
by Jcgamer
Summary: Wolfwood's dying thoughts as he was in the chapel.


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I pwnz wolfwood....I wish... fanfiction is **refusing to let me indent** so bare with me ppl... 

I flung the doors to the church wide open, it took a moment for my eyesto adjust to the darkness of the small chapel. A musty smell of disuse greeted my nose as I steppedinside, it didn't matter, it wasn't like I would be staying for long. I inched my way to the alter, and as I did I was wondering if I had left my cigarettes back at the hotel. I felt them in my breast pocket, it would feel good to have one before the end. Then again, it would also feel great to get married, have kids, and live to be a grandpa before I died, but you can only ask so much from life. Guess that's why they say live every day like it's your last.

Finally I made it to the small alter. My legs gave out from beneath me, from the weight of my burden, the Cross Punisher and from loss of blood. "I wonder if this is what the people I killed thought before they died, that maybe if they had changed a few things here and there then just maybe they wouldn't have had to die." I assume this is probably close to what everyone wonders, but then again, I've never asked anyone what it's like to die before. "You know Vash, you were right, it can be done, if you really try you can get by without killing anyone." I let out a low laugh as I said this to myself, the day I realize all this is the day I have to die, it's just so damn ironic.

I pulled out the last cigarette from my breast pocket, and with trembling hands slid it into my lips and struck a match. I don't know if I was shaking from pain, loss of blood, or simply because I didn't want to die yet. I can remember the first man I killed, that bastard of a man who called himself my guardian. It didn't matter all that much more now though, he was dead and I was dying, guess it's about time I let go of that weight. I took one long drag off of my cigarette letting the smell and taste of it linger before exhaling. That tastes good, I mumbled. My mind drifted to the world I would be soon leaving behind. Millie, what would she say now? It really doesn't matter what she thought or what she's thinking anymore, I'm going to a place she can't follow, to a place where Vash and Merle can't follow. Damn I'm going to miss em. I took another puff off of my cigarette, my breathing was becoming shallower and the cigarette seemed to taste bitter suddenly, perhaps because of the coppery taste of blood leaking onto my taste buds, or maybe from the thoughts of death. I could hear the splatter of my blood hitting the cold tile.

Just as I felt myself start to fade away, I looked up at the cross, vision blurred and my eyes stinging with bitter tears. "Why the fuck does it have to be me?" I thought, trying to inhale deeply on my cig, only to let out a chocked gasp. I don't want to die, not now, not here, not alone, and not like this. The pain and realization of death hit me hard, harder than that bullet in the gut ever could. I saw Vash and Merle in the cross...and Millie. I don't know if I was hallucinating, but my last thoughts were of her and my Paradise, maybe someday we can go there together, but that's just the last thoughts of a dying man, the last thoughts of me, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, I don't know if my life was a good life, but I know I lived. The black spots that threatened to overtake me almost had completely blotted out my vision, I looked upwards to the heavens and let out my dying words, "I did not want to die like this!!!", but I died just like that.

Okay, now this is my second fic, I think I'm getting better ; at least I hope I am. This took me about ½ an hour...I've been in the doldrums lately and felt like writing something depressing to mix it up. My nephew just came back to live with me and now his dad is trying to take him away. sigh I try not to show much emotion towards him but I do love him life is so fscked up.... Now that I'm good and depressed time to go read Mega Tokyo for a few hours. **3'/3 BYE**....oh, yeah plz review or I will ownz ur a$$35.....well not really :D...just review plz reviews make me muy happy.


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